30

Chapter 29- In the mind of Christian


I jogged over to the stairs and zoomed up.

The guy looked at me.

His expression told me that he wasn’t too scared to see me.

“Who are you?”

“I'm R..”

“No, what I really want to know is why you’re at my girls yard?” I interrupted.

“I came to tell her something.”


“Don’t look like that to me, looks like you came to do something to her.” I said looking down at the roses in his hand.

He chuckled and adjusted his collar.

“Well it could have got to that, who knows.”

Is this guy serious? Does he not know that I will bag him right here and now.

“What’s your name?” I want to know so that after I kill him I can find out from Nimah why I didn’t know anything about this idiot.


“Rashaad Lewis. Christian right?”

I hope Nimah hasn’t been talking about me to him.


“Listen yeah, just stay away from Nimah.” I tried not to look him in the eye because I'm afraid I wont be able to resist seeing him hit the floor in slow motion after I knock him out.


This is the second time today I’ve had to deal with little boys who are trying to play smart and this time my hands are itching me to regulate his jaw.

“I'm going to let Nimah make that choice yeah.”

This must be some sort of game.

Where are the cameras?

I remembered Nimah’s words to me earlier.

I don’t want her to have anything to hold against me.

I turned and almost ran down the stairs into the car.

I wont be able to control my anger if I stay.

I pushed the key into the ignition and sped off down the road.

I rode around the city for a while just to clear my head.

Maybe I should go and see my mum.

I’m already close so I’ll just stop by.

I turned up the street, the street where I met the girl of my dreams, the figment of any man’s imagination.

My mind was transported back to the day God put all my wants into one and sent me Nimah in all her glory.

I drove past the car-park where I actually cared for the first time that a female was sitting in her car basically drooling over me. No-one has ever made me feel like more of a man than Nimah.


A million chicks throwing themselves on me, pails in comparison to the woman she is.


I mashed the brakes and put it in park as I arrived outside of my mum’s shop.


Before I could take the key out of the ignition I spotted my mum running out from behind the counter.


I opened the door and got out.

“Hi mum.” I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her cheek.

“Son, I haven’t seen you for a long time.” She stepped back looking at me and brushing the hair out of her face.


My mum is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. No-one can take her place. She went through so much for my sister and I.

My mum is fully Italian and my dad is fully black, I got my dad’s color but my sister got my mum’s color.


I know it must be hard for her seeing my dad every time she looks at me. But she has never alienated me. Growing up my sister and I always fought, but unlike most people it continued on into our adult life, and now we just don’t talk.

“I'm sorry mum, I’ve just had a lot going on.” I put my arm around her and we walked back into the shop. “Mum I have a problem.”

She nodded waiting for me to spill.

“Remember the girl I told you I was getting the dresses for?”

“Yes.” She said whilst sitting on the chair by the fitting rooms.

“Well, we have been having a lot of problems and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. You know me I don’t go through trouble for females. But I'm still with her because I love her and every thing that has happened is not her fault alone.”

My mum got up and walked closer to me.


“You love her?”


“Yes.”


“Never thought the day would come when you would say you love someone else but me.” She chuckled. “Well like I always tell you, you cant fall in love overnight, but the fact that you say it shows that you’re willing to let love have its way.”

“Mum, I care about her more than I’ve even dreamt I could care about any other girl. Just that I don’t know if feels that way about me.”


“I’ll tell you one thing, don’t hold on to something if you know in your heart theres nothing there. Now I'm not saying that’s what is happening with the two of you. I've never met her but I can see a good change in you. Do what you can to make it work. I have no regrets because I did.”

One thing with my mum, I become vulnerable, I don’t have my cocky persona with my mum, she humbles me. So does Nimah.

“Thanks mum, I'm going to head home.”I hugged her tight.


“Thanks for coming son.” She smiled.


I turned away and headed for the car.


I have a decision to make. This decision isn’t just about me.


Nimah said she doesn’t want me to be her ‘hero’.

I cant keeping fighting away her ‘friends’, I need to know what she wants. I want to be selfish, I want to hold on to her.

I wanted to be in control when I gave my heart to her, but I wasn’t. In the way she looks at me, she deprives me of any fear for commitment. That’s all I want to do, commit to Nimah.



I started up the car and hit the accelerator with all power as I felt a tear coming into my eye.

I brushed it away and used the eyes on my hand to look for my phone, trying not to take my eyes off the road.

After my find I put it near the steering wheel and dialed Nimah’s number.


“Hi Chris, you ok?”


I paused as the tear drop found its place again, this time running down my cheek.


“Chris, you ok?”


This is what’s best for her, that’s why I'm doing this.


“Nimah…I think I should leave you alone for a while.”